Married Couple
by Serp
Summary: Roy, Riza and Hughes go out for lunch, and to Roy's annoyance Hughes gives his two colleagues much food for thought. Royai, naturally.


"—and there she was, all cute and curled up in her little den with her teddy bear under the dining table, and I just couldn't help getting out the camera and snapping a few pictures of her sucking her thumb while she slept. I mean just look at her! She's so adorable!"  
"Lovely," Mustang replied, jabbing half-heartedly at the fusilli pasta on his plate. His appetite was waning after another of Hughes' sickly sweet tirades. Considering the fact that they were outside of a café in Central during a stifling, midsummer heat wave, he'd thought the man would have been less eager to wax lyrical about his daughter. But the extra attention from the other diners only added to his feverish enthusiasm.

"Listen, Hughes, it'd be a better use of my time if we spent our lunch hour talking about the Central forces transferring East instead of what your daughter did at the weekend," Roy snapped, tetchier than ever in the heat. "We should be discussing serious business as opposed to your mundane family matters."

His blue jacket was hung over the back of the chair but even in his shirt he was still sweating. How Hawkeye could cope in her jacket _and_ a black polo neck he could only guess.

Maes pouted and reluctantly lowered the pictures he'd been waving in the Colonel's face for the past fifteen minutes. "But Elicia _is_ serious business, Roy! It's my job as her father to raise her into a kind, compassionate member of society, and taking pictures of her cute wittle shleepy-weepy facey-wacey is an integral part of that!"

"I fail to see how a photograph of a three year-old snoring is going to help change the world, Hughes."

Maes narrowed his eyes at Mustang's skeptical raised eyebrow and leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "You just don't get it. All you see is a little girl the same as any other kid, but it's different when it's your own child, Roy. Gracia and I created Elicia out of love, and our little girl is beautiful and smart and funny and utterly cute with her little pigtails and button nose!" He cleared his throat, realizing he was ranting yet again. "You see what I'm getting at? There's a part of me in her that she'll carry with her, and a part of Gracia too. A piece of our souls..."

Roy raised his fork to his mouth. "Sounds like alchemy to me."  
Hughes gave an exasperated sigh. "Hey come on! This isn't some crazy, scientific mumbo-jumbo we're talking about here! This isn't bringing back the dead, or equivalent exchange! One day, when you're cradling your newborn baby in your arms, you'll finally understand, and I'll be there to say I told you so."

Roy shook his head and sipped his coffee. It was times like these that he was amazed he and Hughes had ever become friends, since they were as opposite as chalk and cheese.

"That's too bad," he replied, "because I'm not planning on having children or getting married."

Hughes was surveying the pictures in his hand as if trying to pick a favourite. "Alright. But I've said it before: you'd get to the top faster as a married family man than as a hotheaded playboy. That image only works when you're low down the ladder."  
"Tell that to Grumman."  
"Yeah right. If you wanted to be a lame old warhorse content with being put out to pasture like Grumman, I wouldn't be here. But you're aiming for the top, Roy, so the sooner your find yourself a wife and have a kid the better!"

"If I'm already chained to the military, why would I want to be chained to a wife?" Mustang finished off his plate and set his fork and knife down in the center. "I'm better off single, Hughes. Trust me."  
"You know what you need?" Maes almost leapt out of his seat. "A Gracia! Not mine, obviously, but someone half as amazing would do! You'll know when you find her because you won't be able to stop talking about her! Your every waking thought will be of her, and at night when you're lying in bed feeling lonely, you'll—"

"Cut the crap, Hughes. I don't want to hear this while I'm eating!"

He wasn't eating anymore, though the point was still valid. It was clear Roy wasn't going to be swayed, but Maes was never one to let something go once he got his teeth into it, so the bespectacled Lieutenant Colonel turned to the third occupant of their table. Hawkeye had until now remained characteristically quiet as she worked steadily through a rare steak, pointedly ignoring both of them.

"What about you, Hawkeye?" Hughes ventured. "Fancy tying the knot with our broody, self-absorbed friend here?"  
"No thank you," Riza replied shortly. She glanced at Roy. "No offense, sir."  
"What do you mean no?!" Hughes exclaimed, as if it were a personal slur against him. "I thought you of all people would say yes! You're practically his wife already—"

"Excuse me?!"

"Hughes, that's enough!"  
Roy and Riza exchanged a look, silently agreeing that they both wanted to kill him and that Hawkeye should do the honours while Mustang prepared a funeral pyre.

But Hughes just laughed it off.

"Oh, don't look so surprised you two. You've known each other since before the Academy. You're practically childhood sweethearts. Marriage is the next logical step! And frankly I think you'd make a good couple."

Riza opened her mouth to argue, but Hughes cut her off. "Don't you start listing off the reasons you can't be together, Hawkeye. The rules haven't stopped either of you from anything thus far."

"I hope you're joking." Mustang dipped his head and cast a wary eye around the café and the sundrenched street, but nobody was paying them any mind. Still, he felt uncomfortable talking about private matters in such a public place. He let out an exasperated sigh and ran a hand through his hair. It was bad enough when Hughes talked about himself, let alone the relationships of other people. "Just finish that damn cake and let's get out of here, Hughes," he snapped. "Since we're not going to discuss anything of any worth we might as well get back to work, as much as it pains me to admit."

Hughes waved his hand.

"You two lovebirds go on ahead," he managed around the cake he'd shoveled into his over-sized mouth. "I'm going to show the waitress more pictures!"

* * *

"_Lovebirds_? Damn Hughes, that idiot!" Roy snapped his fingers out of habit as the two soldiers walked back the way they had come, through the tourist-filled streets of downtown Central. He felt as if it were almost a shame he wasn't wearing gloves. "I can't believe he'd openly suggest something like that!"  
"He's just winding you up sir," Hawkeye assured him. "Calm down. It's not that bad."  
He glanced at her. "Why are you smiling?"

She shook her head as if trying to shake away the grin planted on her face, but it wouldn't shift. "It's nothing."  
Now he was worried. "What is it?"

"It's just the more I think about what he said the more it makes sense."

"The sun's addled your brain, Lieutenant. You've started hallucinating." It was strange for her to even listen to what Hughes usually had to say, let alone reflect on it. "You don't seriously believe we could, or would want to get married, do you?"  
"Well, when you think about what marriage _is—"  
_"A piece of paper and a ring..."  
"It's giving yourself to another person," Riza insisted, ignoring his comment. "It's promising to stand by and protect one another. I know it sounds crazy sir, but perhaps the Lieutenant Colonel wasn't entirely wrong about me being your wife already."  
Roy stopped walking and she almost bumped into him. "Now I _know_ you've gone crazy." He pressed his hand to her temple. "Are you sure you're feeling ok?"  
Riza's smile faded and the withering look she gave him was reassurance enough. "Please, Colonel. I'm not suggesting we actually _do_ get married, just that I think that there's more to Hughes' argument than you give him credit for. I gave my back to you, and in return you entrusted yours to me."  
"That was in order to keep me from becoming as corrupted as the rest of the high-command!" Roy barked, his face flushed. He was getting increasingly irate with this whole marriage business - irrationally so. "And it was more like a direct order than a marriage vow."

"Still, I'd die to protect you, sir. With or without orders."  
Mustang opened his mouth to argue, to tell her how unbearable it would be if that were to happen, and that he couldn't imagine a life without her in it. But that would have felt too much like agreeing with her. Instead, he sighed and ran a hand through his sweat-slicked hair.

"If that's how you feel then why did you say no when Hughes asked if you wanted to marry me?"

"Well that's a stupid question," Riza breathed. She turned to him fully, raising her chin as if she were about to recite a textbook. "It's illegal for us to be married, sir. If we were to break the fraternization law we could both be discharged from the military, or at least demoted, which would class as deviating from the path we've chosen. So, as per our arrangement, if we were to get married or begin a romantic relationship as things stand now, I would be forced to shoot you. Which I'm not entirely inclined to do. _That's_ why I said no."  
Roy blinked. "And that's all?"

"That and..." She lost her professional tone and bit her lip nervously. "You're meant to be the one asking me, sir. Not Lieutenant Colonel Hughes."  
Roy narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Have you been... thinking about this, Lieutenant? You sound almost as if you were hoping I would propose..."  
Her silence was answer enough, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked away as they resumed walking, unsure of what to do with himself. She'd turned so that her face was obscured by her yellow bangs, but the way her shoulders were slightly hunched reminded him of the way she'd been as a teenager, spending afternoons in the wheat fields, dreaming of the big city and all the potential of life. It had never occurred to him that she might have been dreaming of him too.

"It sounds pretty childish, doesn't it?" she asked, echoing his words from almost ten years ago, when he'd announced his own lofty ideals. Roy couldn't help but smile. It was all so ridiculous.

"One day, maybe." He murmured quietly, beginning to walk again with her one step behind. "Once I'm Fuhrer and the world is right again... Maybe then I'll ask you."  
"That'd make me very happy, sir. Thank you."

* * *

"This report was meant to be in twelve hours ago, Colonel! And you haven't even _looked_ at the agenda for tomorrow's council meeting! How am I supposed to run the office when even _you_ can't keep up with the workload?!"

Roy snatched up the offending papers and skimmed them briefly as his First Lieutenant ranted at him. Ever since they'd returned from lunch it seemed as if her usual calm, unflappable demeanor had been torn away and replaced with some kind of unrelenting hell beast. In contrast, he'd been sluggish all afternoon, what with the stuffy office and the fact that she wanted to marry him, and her foul temper had been the last thing he'd expected. "Fine, I'll finish it as soon as you quit talking at me like some high-school lecturer!" he yelled back. "I'm not a child, you know!"

"If you'd finished it straight away I wouldn't have to say anything at all, but apparently this is the only way to get you to actually take your job seriously!"  
"I _am_ taking it seriously! If you'd just stop being so impatient and actually gave me time to get on with things—"

"My impatience has absolutely nothing to do with you neglecting your work! Do you really think I wouldn't notice you staring into space half the afternoon?! You procrastinate far too much, Colonel, but if I don't say anything about it nobody else does!"

Instead of firing back some acid remark, Roy felt his anger inexplicably abate, and his mouth broke into a wide grin.

Riza's brow only furrowed further. "Do you think this is a joke, Colonel?"  
"You realise we're arguing like a married couple?"  
"Sir, please. This isn't the time for that—"

"Y'know you were right," he remarked, standing up and slowly moving round the desk towards her. The glare Hawkeye shot at him could have melted the sun. "Hughes was right, too. We would make an excellent couple. But I stand by what I said before, Hawkeye: marriage really is just a piece of paper. You can keep promises without having to write them down, you can protect each other in sickness and in health, give each other everything for better or for worse..." He stepped towards her and she tensed up, eyeing him warily.

"Colonel, please—"  
"And you can love someone without putting a ring on their finger," he continued, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. "You can love someone without being with them at all. And..."

Riza sighed and shrugged him off, though she seemed unable to keep away her smile. "I could have told you that much, sir," she replied tersely, "but it still doesn't excuse you from your paperwork."

He sighed and let his arms fall to his sides. "No, I don't suppose it does, does it?"  
"Come on. If you get started now you might still get to go home tonight."  
He fell into his chair, and his pen seemed awfully heavy when he picked it up and started writing again. "You're not going to let up even though I just confessed my love, Lieutenant?" he ventured.

"No sir." She picked up her own pile of paperwork and headed out of the door. "If you want my love in return you're going to have to earn it. I won't say yes to your proposal otherwise."

* * *

A/N: Please please please R&R and I will love you forever and ever!


End file.
